Rules of Nostalgia

The following are the rules governing all feelings of nostalgia:


1. The good parts are remembered, the bad parts are overlooked

I tend to look back fondly on the "good ol' days". My brain is wired to remember vividly all the good things, while at the same time glossing over the bad things. I'll remember the time our team actually won a basketball game, or spending an overnight Christmas party with the rest of the guys at Roehl's house. But I'll conveniently forget the numerous times I crammed for a test on a course I didn't care for. Or how I had to get up at 6am to be able to catch a bus to school.

We also hear people say things like "It was much safer back then", or "people were much more polite in the old days". But it's strange that the good ol' days of the past included a great depression, two world wars, several region conflicts, and increasing prospects for nuclear holocaust. I'd say things are actually much better now than before.


2. The 'Greatest Hits' Illusion

My mother would often say to me that the sixties was the greatest era for music. And that much of music nowadays consists of noise. Which is funny because I say the same thing, except for me the best musical era was the eighties. Why do the old songs always sound better than the new ones you hear on radio? It's because of what I call the 'greatest hits' illusion. Only the best songs from the past survive and live on up to the present time. The oldies that are still being played today are the cream of the crop, the absolute studs of their time. No wonder they sound so good. And when you compare it to the present crop of songs, many of them not good enough to be remembered several years from now, the oldies will always win out. It's not even a fair competition - the best of the past versus a bunch of average present day songs.


3. Some eras are better than others

This is a corollary to the previous rule. When I said that the oldies always win out, this is not entirely accurate. Because some eras are better than others. For instance, the sixties was a truly golden age of music. You had many all-time greats such as The Beatles, Elvis, The Beach Boys, Herman's Hermits, etc. By contrast, the seventies, in final analysis, wasn't really that great. Sure it had a lot of great bands, but all of them paled when compared to the sixties jocks.

Similarly, the eighties was another golden era, it was like a musical reawakening, with the audio merging with video, giving artists greater recognition. The nineties was slow in terms of music, but great for the digital information age (after all, this was when the internet first clicked). The challenge is trying to find what the strengths of the current era you are in now and savor it while it is there.


4. 'Things' are colored by memorable events

An inanimate object from the past has special meaning when combined with the memory of a past event. For instance, I look back fondly on the first CAKE CD I ever bought. It was back in 1996, I had to order it from a specialty music store, wait several months for them to get it from the US, then check back to the store to claim the CD (paying a hefty price tag too). The experience is memorable to me as it represents a musical reawakening. And that makes the CD object much more valuable than what it is worth today.

I also remember the last time Roehl, Crab and I visited our college. It was so different, yet the same. The value of visiting the old buildings, eating at the old cafeteria was much more exhilerating as it brought back memories of old events. In this way, nostalgia becomes more solid, concrete in the minds of the person experiencing it.


5. Sometimes you know the present time will be a future nostalgic memory.

This is a bit odd and I'm not sure if I'm the only one who has realized this. There were actually times when I was experiencing something currently happening, and somehow knew that this would be a magical event that I would look back on in the future.

One example, during 1999, this was the time Max, myself and several other guys (we had the regular cast, and a revolving set of 'guests') would go out after work, usually on a Friday, and just have a great time. It was a very intense period as the company we worked for was going through a very turbulent upheaval, lots of office politics, infighting, and emotions, which was in a sense, thrilling. Jeth had a not-so-secret crush on a female co-worker, and I guess I was also in love, er infatuated with someone at the time, which only added to the excitement. I remember thinking to myself as these events were happening that this was truly a magical time that we were all going through. And that we would look back on this with a certain fondness a couple of years from now.

I was right of course. I still consider it one of my high points (Max would argue otherwise as he said he was bored during that time, hehehe). It was the first time I was self-aware of a nostalgic event that was happening in the present. It would be fantastic if I identified this current time, circa 2006, as a potential future nostalgic time I will look back on.


6. Nostalgia periodically reinvents itself

Ever hear a good song on the radio that you thought was new, then finding out it was actually a remake of an older classic? My theory is that the present and future is ripe for repackaging the old stuff and selling it to unsuspecting younger generations who have never heard it before. Kids today probably don't know who Herman's Hermits are, or are only vaguely aware of the Dave Clark 5.

It's the same with nostalgia. You try to remember your thoughts and emotions a decade ago and try to recapture that same feeling in the present. You might be surprised with how much of the old stuff actually relates to the current time. For instance, it's the year 2006 now, but oddly I find many similiarites between this year, and ten years ago dating back to 1996. It's like reliving the nostalgia, only with different people and circumstances, plus being older and wiser by ten years helps me not to make the same mistakes as I did back then. And try to relax and enjoy it more than I did when I was younger.


7. There will nostalgia killjoys

I always run into people who actually don't have much nostalgia for the past. Perhaps they have had past experiences they would like to forget. Or they didn't like themselves back then, and try to bury that part of their life. It's those type of people who back in the nineties would say "Come on, get with the nineties!" (not sure how they would say it now, maybe "Come on, get with the new millenium" or something like that). There are also the soulless zombie types who don't seem to have any memories, they just go through life doing what they are told, without any concept of where they came from, or what they are doing now.

I try to ignore these nostalgia killjoys, because I find them depressing and it saps me of my energy. Don't be ashamed about having fond memories of the past. Because they were a crucial part of what you are today.


Now you know the rules of nostalgia. I could probably add a few more, which I might do in a future post.