Beauty and Madness

Looks do matter, no matter how we try to deny it. We subconsciously form opinions towards other people based on their physical attractiveness. The tall handsome guy somehow appears more trustworthy and likeable than the short guy with the big nose. The pretty girl that's easy on the eyes is judged to be more intelligent and having the better personality than the homely woman with thick eyebrows. We discriminate based on outside looks. Fair or not, that's what usually happens.

We are attracted to attractive people. Say two women are applying for the same job opening. One of them is a dead ringer for Jessica Alba, while the other resembles Rosie O'Donnell. Assuming they have similar qualifications and did equally well in the interview, who do you think is more likely to get the job? Taller men are also more likely to be promoted to leadership positions since they have the physical attributes of being a leader. During debates, good-looking men usually win over their not-so-good-looking counterparts, go figure.

How do we attribute this mysterious force that compels us prefer nicer-looking people over ugly ones? How do we even judge what is physically attractive in the first place? For instance, when I see Naomi Watts on TV I know she is beautiful and sexy, yet how do I know she is? Who made up these rules in the first place? Why makes a pretty girl 'pretty', and an ugly girl 'ugly'. And why do we instinctively prefer good-looking over the rest.

After all, physical looks are only a by-product of the genes you are given at birth. Our facial features, bone structure, metabolism are some of the cards we are dealt with that determine how well you look later in life. Some people are born beautiful. They have been blessed with great physical attributes. And we look up to them, we place them on a pedestal, reward them for their good looks. Yet we forget that this is mostly a product of genes and physiology.

Years ago, I asked out this very pretty girl. The experience was intimidating because I knew deep inside I was out of my league with regards to her. She rejected me because I was "funny-looking". And I felt bad because I wasn't good-looking enough for her. Years later, it felt kind of silly because there I was feeling intimidated and all, yet her only advantage was in her genes determining physical looks. Genes which you can't control. Somehow she had gotten the superior genes, yet it made all the difference.

Take Jessica Alba or Naomi Watts. We worship them, place them on pedestals, praise them for looking the way they are, treat them differently. Yet they are just like any other person. The only difference is that they look better. Yet this tiny difference makes all the difference. Weird.

Many people I know are self-conscious about their bodies. They make an effort to reshape their outside appearance, to somehow morph their faces through hairstyle or ornaments to improve their physical attractiveness. The perceived beauty on the outside has a huge effect on how people feel on the inside. Self-esteem goes up or down depending on how attractive or unattractive others perceive you to be.

I ask people why they work out in the gym. Why they want to lose weight. And the reply most always is "to look better". Note that they don't necessarily want to be healthier or stronger. They just want to look better, get that extra physical attractiveness point, which will raise the ego, self-esteem, and indirectly make them feel better about themselves. People want to look better on the outside so they can feel better on the inside. Yet attractiveness is largely determined by the cards you are dealt with, so it doesn't work. There is no peace of mind if your happiness is determined by how others perceive of you, and worse if it is determined by how others perceive of you in terms of physical looks.

Despite these sentiments, I still find myself more attracted to physically attractive people. I'm still more liable to find a pretty girl more fun to be with than a less attractive one. Perhaps it is because through some freak of nature, attractive people really have more charm and with than unattractive ones. Or perhaps I am just a victim of my own social conditioning. Any ideas?